No More Than I Can Handle?

The Bible says that God will not let us have more than we can handle. Well all I have to say is that God must think I am very strong. If you read my last post then you are aware that on top of a knee replacement, I have had a new outbreak of shingles that comes from my lower spine and radiates down my legs.

Well, within hours of visiting the doctor to get the anti-viral medicine to fight off the shingles, I started experience severe pain in my stomach. I will spare you with all of the details of what happened between 9:00 PM and 1:00AM, but suffice to say that I ended up in the hospital, and put on the surgery list. By Saturday morning a severely infected and enlarged Gall Bladder had been removed. If that wasn't enough I was put into isolation because the hospital didn't want my shingles to spread to other patients.

The whole time I was in the hospital I found myself shaking my head in disbelief. How is it possible for all this to happen all at once? What are people going to think and say when they read the next chapter in my health? This is ridiculous.

I found myself faced with a choice. I could play the why me game, or I could rejoice in my circumstances. I chose to rejoice. God must think that I am very strong. He sees a lot more power in me than I see in myself. I want to see myself that way. I would rather claim another promise of the Bible, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Hidden Giants

Today, I sat in the pharmacy department of my local drug store. People were coming and going as the staff were giving shots to prevent shingles. As I sat, an employee asked if I was planning to get the shot as well. Unfortunately, the shot would do me no good. The truth is that I was at the pharmacy for a course of heavy antibiotics because my shingles has returned.

My first bought with shingles came several years ago. A few painful spots on my lower back lasted about three months. When they healed, I thought I was finished with Shingles. Not true. The shingles settled in my lower spine. They returned with a vengeance following my second back surgery. This time with only one prominent spot. All of the rest went down through the nerves in my legs. The pain was debilitating, and very difficult to fight off. It took several months of antibiotics to fight off the Shingles.

Six weeks ago I had knee replacement surgery. This, along with some adjustments in medicines, brought the ugly monster back to life. So, there i was sitting in the pharmacy, waiting for my antibiotics while happy healthy people came for their shot to insure that they won't get what I have been suffering with for years. If I had the choice, I would take the shot too. But, I don't have the choice. Debilitating nerve pain is just one more giant I must fight.

The Power of Love

Pain is a relative term. We can give in to it, and let it consume us. When we do, pain can hurt even worse that it should. Those who give in are rarely seen, unless it is at the doctors office. I don't want to sound critical of the power that pain can have. I have had my share, and I know how difficult it can be to work through. But this week, I discovered another force that can even influence pain. It is the power of love and friendship. After six weeks of being in recovery mode following knee replacement surgery, I had the privilege of officiating at the wedding of some great friends. I was committed to not drawing attention to myself and my problems, so I decided to leave the cane in the car. The wedding went well, and I didn't even miss the cane. At the reception I even managed a slow dance with my daughter. It hurt, but not nearly as bad as I anticipated. Pain was not the focus. Friends and celebration was the focus of the day. In the end it very well. Looking back on the event, I am reminded that love really does conquer all. The pain doesn't go away when you invest yourself in others, but it certainly becomes more tolerable when it isn't the focus of your attention So, who can you do to invest yourself in others? How can you turn your focus outward toward friendships? Get out of the house, find something to do. It won't kill you, and may must make your life better.

Sometimes Pain Does Bring Gain

I am no rookie to physical therapy. My insurance company has been cooperative after every of my surgeries. Each PT had a slightly different approach to their practice, but each did a very good job to make me feel better. Since having my knee replaced, I am in therapy once again. It took a while to get this round of PT started, because I ended up with an allergic reaction to tape, which led to an infection that set me back a couple of weeks. When I finally did begin my rehabilitation, the knee had lost a lot of its flexibility. I was twelve degrees from straight, and could barely bend to ninety degrees. In the first week we were able to stretch muscles and work scar tissue so that my knee would bend to one hundred-eight degrees. All of this information has been given to help you appreciate what happened yesterday. I was in the front yard trying move something. It wasn't a difficult task but that didn't matter. All of the sudden, a sound similar to the tearing of velcro rang from my knee followed by horrible pain. Within minutes a large red circle appeared at the bottom of my knee. The Velcro sound was scar tissue giving way. At today's appointment the PT measured my flexibility. We were all amazed to find that I could now bend my knee to one hundred-twenty degrees. What made the difference? Where did the extra twelve degrees come from? It came from the tearing of scar tissue. The pain was necessary and, therefore, worth it. Sometimes pain does bring gain.

It Will Get worse Before It Gets Better

I finally started physical therapy, four weeks after having knee replacement. The insurance company took its sweet time getting all of the clearances and approvals. When the physical therapist measured my range of motion, she was not very happy. Her comment? "This is going to get worse before it gets better." I have used this statement many times myself, so I knew that I was in for some pain. I was twelve degrees from straight, and could barely reach ninety degrees. In the two weeks it took to get started, I had lost a considerable amount of motion with way too much scar tissue. My PT didn't take long before proving that she meant what she said. It did, indeed get worse. I have a high threshold of pain but this was very difficult. The sad thing is that I know she wasn't really pushing that hard. The reality is that she was working against my weaknesses. This experience mirrors the reality of life. People will find our weaknesses and will work against them. It can be painful, even frustrating. But, if we accept that it will get worse before it gets better, then we will make it through. Don't focus on the worse. Focus instead on the part that gets better. Unless we suffer, we will not grow stronger. I have weaknesses, and I am not afraid to let people see them. Pain is inevitable, but if I allow that pain to make me a better person, then my disability will not get the best of me. I will be strong in spite of my disability.

The Temporary Fix

Donuts are my drug of choice. It may sound silly, but it is true. When I am struggling, I find a donut shop and buy the biggest cinnamon Roll, and one of those custard filled donuts with chocolate on top. Add that to a cup of coffee and you have my fix. Sure it is legal, and it sounds a little silly, but the reality is that I run to my drug of choice just as fast as others run to drugs, or alcohol.

You can imagine my excitement, then, when a donut pizza was hand delivered by my daughter. She purchased it in San Jose, and carried it on a plane to Southern California for me. Believe me, I ate my share, but just after it arrived, I got a lot of attention from the nursing staff on the orthopedic ward.

Here is the reality check. Your drug of choice, like mine, will leave you emotionally empty. Emotional health needs more than substances, or a quick fix. Emotional health demands that we are open and vulnerable with people who care. We must have a support system to get through our emotional lows. And, we need a solid source of strength that is beyond ourselves.

For me, that solid source of strength is found in Jesus Christ, and my support system comes from fellow believers. I have the knowledge and the hope that this dysfunctional body in which I live will be replaced by a heavenly body that works perfectly. Yet, even with this knowledge, I get discouraged. Pain messes with the mind. That is where fellow believers come in. They care about me. They listen, pray, encourage, and support me through the lows of disability.

What is your source of strength? What do you run to when discouragement takes over your mind? Several years ago I had the privilege of baptizing nine people from the Cerebral Palsy center in Seattle, Washington. All had advanced levels of CP, and lived at the center. The change we witnessed in those nine people was amazing. They had a new hope of eternal life. They had a new support system, and they had renewed hope that carried them through their low times.
I tell you this, partially because I am going through a time of discouragement, and I needed to remember my friends with CP. But I am also hoping that you will look at your source of strength. Does it measure up to what those nine people found?

Here Is Something They Got Right

Two weeks ago, I traveled from Colorado back to California for a total knee replacement surgery. The surgery had been scheduled before we moved, so we decided to keep the schedule in place. My surgeon did a wonderful job, and my initial recovery was spent in Bakersfield with my daughter.
On Wednesday, the surgeon took the staples out of my knee, and I prepared for my trip back to Colorado. I will admit that I was fearful of the trip. There are so many horror stories about traveling with disabilities. But, I must say my trip an amazing experience.
The experience began as we pulled up to the curb at Orange County, John Wayne Airport. Frontier employees ordered a wheel chair, which met me at the curb. The young man who helped me made sure that my bags were checked, and that I had my seating taken care of. The ticket agent decided that I needed a better seat, and moved me to the very front of the plane where I could extend my leg out into the galley.
From there, the young man took me to the security checkpoint. He was gracious and gentle, removing my shoes for me, and made sure that all metal was removed. He sent three containers through the machine then secured them on the other side. Then, he came back and escorted me into the physical screening area. The TSA agent was very supportive, and kind. He went overboard to insure that I was comfortable with what he was doing.
The young man, put my shoes back on, helped put my stuff back together, and delivered me to the gate. Before he left, he made sure that I had everything I needed and that I was comfortable waiting for my plane.
When I arrived in Denver, a wheelchair was waiting for me. I was wheeled to the gate, where another employee put me on an electric cart. From there I was driven to the edge of the security checkpoint, where a terrific young lady was waiting with yet another wheel chair. She took me to the baggage claim, retrieved my bags, and pushed me plus two bags to the arrival area where I could be picked up.
She stayed with me until the car arrived, and the luggage was placed in the car. She was not satisfied with letting me try to walk to the car. She rolled me to the right up to the car door and made sure I was secure in my seat.
I was so impressed with her caring attention toward me. In my mind, she deserved a good tip, as did the other two employees who helped me from the plane. When I tried to give a tip, she refused it say that she was not allowed to take tips, and that she was just happy for the opportunity to help me.
My experience at both ends of the trip were great, but I honestly want to commend Frontier Airlines for being so supportive, and helpful. They knew how much I had been through, and it almost felt like I became their singular focus throughout the trip. When a company gets it right, they deserve to be noticed. Frontier got it right.