Knee Replacement Number Two

Isn't it true that once you have been through a trauma, then the next one is easier? That is what I was told, and I found comfort in the thought. Well, I just had my second total knee replacement and other than matching scars, there are very few similarities.

I met some incredible people on my trip to the hospital. Hoag Orthopedic has great employees who never stressed out on me one time. When I asked for the room to be warmer, they made it warmer until I asked them to make it cooler. This happened several times each day. I dropped a full bottle of body fluids on the floor, and they did not flinch. When I did it a second time, they were very supportive. When it happened a third time, I was sure that Maria would have given up on me. Not so. Later in the afternoon, when I called that I had dropped the urinal, they came running with towels, mops and solutions. Apparently, they had simply stationed the cleaning equipment just outside of my door. Perhaps you can picture their relief when they discovered that I hadn't filled it yet.

Amazingly, I gained nothing from my first knee that could be applied to the second knee experience. A nurse said something that put it all into perspective (The Doctor wasn't very happy with her statement, but I found great comfort in it.) She said, "Of course it hurts, the doctor nearly cut you leg completely in half. Then their are the saws, hammers and glue." Put that way, I see myself as a giant craft project.

Pain has its purpose, but once I know that something hurts, couldn't there be an off switch? That is how I would do it. But it wouldn't work, because just as soon as we experience pain, we test it again, and again to see if it is still there.

CPM machines, walkers, canes, grabbers, and elevated toilet seats are my new reality. In the end, two realities made it was worth going through. A nurse named Ray who spent a lot of time with me, asked me if I would send her some information to help her know Jesus better. The second thing is that we don't have three legs. I am done.

Here we go again!

"Here we go again!" Have you ever felt this way? It is almost like a car, when the water pump breaks, it is like a guarantee that the alternator is going to go out next. Or, when one part of your body fails, you know that another  part will follow. Let me give an even better example (a personal  one).

My back was injured at a young age, so I walked with a limp for many years. It got to the point where I needed back surgery. So, we did that, twice. When the back problems were solved, tremendous knee pain began. Turns out, during the period where I limped, my right knee was destroyed. A knee replacement was the only way to solve the problem. When that was solved, (I am sure you can figure this one out) my left knee, which had been supporting most of my weight throughout my life, began to hurt. Now, I am poised for my second knee (Next week in fact|).

The human body has a tremendous capacity to heal itself, but when joints are worn, that is a different story. Fortunately, the body will envelop the cold cobalt metal, and heal itself, leaving only a scar of what once was an issue.

Those of us with disabilities can either look at the deterioration, or the restoration. We can wait for the next part to fall apart, or we can relish in the healing process and the periods in between the problems.  The recovery period for a knee replacement is longer that we would like, but while we are focusing on the pain and the limitations, our body is hard at work adapting to the new reality.

Perhaps we can learn from our own DNA. It does not get depressed over what may come next. It just spits, and reproduces itself, until everything that can be restored, is restored. DNA does not sit around waiting for something else to go wrong. Your body goes back to doing what it normally does, replacing skin cells, cleaning the blood stream of bad things, providing oxygen to the brain, things like that.

The truth is, we need the help of others to remind us to be like DNA. Things will repair as well as possible, and we will have a new reality. The reason we need the help of others is that looking at the present is easy. Dwelling on the past doesn't help our present either. But, when we are carving out our own rut, we can see where we are, and where we have been, but we can't see where we are going. That is where others come in. They can see the future a lot better than the person in the rut can. They are on the surface and can see in all directions. They have the ability to lift you out of the rut and help set you on a new course.

So, here is a request. Remind me of what I just said over the next few months. Be my friend and help me be like my own DNA. Respond to this blog, email me. Google me, FaceBook me, talk to me on Linkedin, and remind me that it is going to get better. I need to focus on the healing process and look forward with anticipation to a new reality. Help me see it when I am down.

Sometimes Pain Does Bring Gain

I am no rookie to physical therapy. My insurance company has been cooperative after every of my surgeries. Each PT had a slightly different approach to their practice, but each did a very good job to make me feel better. Since having my knee replaced, I am in therapy once again. It took a while to get this round of PT started, because I ended up with an allergic reaction to tape, which led to an infection that set me back a couple of weeks. When I finally did begin my rehabilitation, the knee had lost a lot of its flexibility. I was twelve degrees from straight, and could barely bend to ninety degrees. In the first week we were able to stretch muscles and work scar tissue so that my knee would bend to one hundred-eight degrees. All of this information has been given to help you appreciate what happened yesterday. I was in the front yard trying move something. It wasn't a difficult task but that didn't matter. All of the sudden, a sound similar to the tearing of velcro rang from my knee followed by horrible pain. Within minutes a large red circle appeared at the bottom of my knee. The Velcro sound was scar tissue giving way. At today's appointment the PT measured my flexibility. We were all amazed to find that I could now bend my knee to one hundred-twenty degrees. What made the difference? Where did the extra twelve degrees come from? It came from the tearing of scar tissue. The pain was necessary and, therefore, worth it. Sometimes pain does bring gain.

It Will Get worse Before It Gets Better

I finally started physical therapy, four weeks after having knee replacement. The insurance company took its sweet time getting all of the clearances and approvals. When the physical therapist measured my range of motion, she was not very happy. Her comment? "This is going to get worse before it gets better." I have used this statement many times myself, so I knew that I was in for some pain. I was twelve degrees from straight, and could barely reach ninety degrees. In the two weeks it took to get started, I had lost a considerable amount of motion with way too much scar tissue. My PT didn't take long before proving that she meant what she said. It did, indeed get worse. I have a high threshold of pain but this was very difficult. The sad thing is that I know she wasn't really pushing that hard. The reality is that she was working against my weaknesses. This experience mirrors the reality of life. People will find our weaknesses and will work against them. It can be painful, even frustrating. But, if we accept that it will get worse before it gets better, then we will make it through. Don't focus on the worse. Focus instead on the part that gets better. Unless we suffer, we will not grow stronger. I have weaknesses, and I am not afraid to let people see them. Pain is inevitable, but if I allow that pain to make me a better person, then my disability will not get the best of me. I will be strong in spite of my disability.

Life In The Slow Lane

I am learning that I have joined a new crowd. For the sake of a better term, I am calling it “The Slow Lane Crowd.” This doesn’t have anything to do with the lane I use on the freeway, but the way I must approach life. I have lived a pretty fast paced life with school, and ministry, and writing, and family responsibilities. People used to look at my activity level and ask how I did it all?

My new lifestyle is highlighted by knee replacements, spine surgeries, arthritis, sorting out night-time medication from day-time medication, naps, and waiting for others to do what I can no longer do for myself. I have hit the slow lane with my brakes overheated. I am barely moving, and I still feel like I need one of those run away truck ramps to slow me even further.

I find myself in the position that every generation inevitably joins. It is the period where I find myself quoting my mother. “You go ahead, I’ll be fine.” “Have you seen my cane?” “Do whatever you need to do, I’ll just sit here.” “Let me know when you need me to move.” I understand how she must feel using those phrases all of the time. I wish I could go, but as my grand father used to say, “My get up and go, done got up and went.”

As a new member of the slow lane crowd, I’m practicing slow lane etiquette, but I am not quite there yet. So I struggle, and get frustrated when things don’t work out the way I expect. But I am working at getting to know the members of my new society. I am shocked at how many faint scars I see across the knees of other slow laner’s.

Non Verbal Cues

I am sure you have figured out that I had knee replacement last week. Starting to feel like I am coming out from under the fog of drugs that accompanied such a surgery. I did not post anything over the last several days, because I was afraid of sounding incoherent, which I likely would have done. However, I accompanied my son-in-law to the store yesterday. We parked in the appropriate blue stall, and showed my parking permit. My daughter brought my walker around, and I climbed out, knee bandaged, and hobbled into the store.

In the past, my parking experiences have not always been positive. Today, however, I was met with kindness and support. A gentleman held the door open for a very long time while I approached. An employee was very supportive in setting me up with an electric cart to use in the store.

The difference between this experience and those of the past were the non verbal cues that helped other recognize my condition. Obviously my limp was much more pronounced, and I looked like I had been through a lot. But the cue's were the deciding factor between a positive and a negative experience.

There may be a day when I must use an adaptive device to get around. But until that day comes, I will suffer the occasional slights from those who are doing their job to keep society honest. Their efforts are keeping the adaptive carts and spaces available for those who need them now.

Replacement Parts

It is amazing what modern medicine can do these days. I have three pounds of Titanium in my back, so I call myself the “man of steel”. Ok, it is not steel but I like the Superman reference anyway. It makes me feel more capable than I really am. I asked the doctor if he could make me taller. After all, he was going to be in there anyway, why not? He gave me a half-inch that gravity and age had taken away.

A friend of mine has arteries that came from a pig. He still eats pork, and I keep waiting for him to oink. So far, nothing. I have another friend who is looking through someone else’s eyes. His old ones were brown, but now they are blue. Amazing! Speaking of eyes, I have been accused of having eyes in the back of my head. I really don’t. In fact the eyes in the front of my head only work because of modern laser surgery.

Replacement parts are good, if they improve the quality of life. Those of us who have disabilities understand the value of replacement parts. The issue comes when they haven’t figured out how to solve your particular disability yet. For those things they can’t fix, we must continue to suffer, hoping for the day when they can replace that too.

Next week I go in for more surgery. This time it is for a new right knee. It will give me one more battle scar to show off, or to cover up depending who I am talking with. The left knee will not be far behind. Then we get to start on hips. Oh Goodie.

We need to keep our humor intact or the disabilities will win. So far they haven’t figured out how to replace that part, so we need to keep exercising our humor, lest it fails us as well.

Please pray, send good thoughts, remember me, or whatever it is you do on August 9th. We need to support each other.