On the days when the pain is particularly bad, I pull out my handicapped-parking pass, and take a spot closer to the location where I need to be. I try not to abuse the privilege because there are people who need it far more than me. If at all possible I leave the parking place vacant, and park in a regular stall. But, when I am in need, I park between the blue lines. It is at those times when the first verse of Harry Nilsson’s song, Everybody’s Talking At Me, goes through my mind.
Everybody's talking at me.
I don't hear a word they're saying,
Only the echoes of my mind.
People stopping staring,
I can't see their faces,
Only the shadows of their eyes.
If our disability is an internal one, then people tend to stare us down when we park in a stall we are legally allowed to use. I wondered if I was being too sensitive, so, I turned to my friend Tom. His wife passed away a little over a year ago. She struggled with MS, a particularly difficult disease that can come on with a vengeance, and wreak havoc on a body. He confirmed my feelings by describing the looks and statements he and his wife got when they used the handicapped-parking stall.
If our disability exhibits itself internally, we are faced with two choices: ignoring the looks and comments, or constantly explaining our condition. There are times when I am perfectly comfortable discussing surgeries, rods, screws, and nerve damage. Other times, however, I would rather not discuss it. Life needs to be more than my disability, and I would rather spend my time discussing other things.
So, I have decided to take a new posture. Whenever someone looks at me, and we make contact, I am going to offer a greeting and thank them for their concern. I would much rather believe they are trying to protect the parking spaces than being critical of me. I can’t change their attitude, but I can sure change mine.
Do you have this problem? What do you do? Tell us by commenting on this post.
Wade has a prosthetic leg. He is only 35. When he has pants on and gets out of his car in a blue lines parking spot the stares are endless. When he us wearing shorts he gets smiles, offers for help and kind words. The worst was in Disneyworld he rode a scooter... As he drove across a crowded bridge and a middle aged man made some very rude comments about how abusive of privileges wade was being. Wade ignored him...I wish he would have shared his obviously acceptable reason for being in the scooter.
ReplyDeleteI agree that most people are protective and defensive of disabled privileges... And rightfully so I know many people who seriously abuse the privileges and the available state income as well. How do we find a balance between being protective and being willing to see the pain or obviously acceptable reason for the placard? Hard!